Michael Rosen, Moral Injury & Healing Through Connection
& photos & info on my new FREE Confidence & Clarity Session
Hello lovely people! I felt inspired to write something yesterday after watching a video that spoke beautifully to our experiences as human beings, and connected very much to the work that I do around preventing burnout amongst people who want to make the world fairer, kinder, better.
So here’s that little bit of writing, bookended by some recent snaps and info on a new *free* offer to book and share (right at the bottom).
A few recent pics…
Spooky & monstera both thriving ^^
Moody London skyline ^^
New plants! ^^
Michael Rosen Interviewing ITU Nurse Who Cared For Him
I watched this video yesterday of Michael Rosen (a children’s author and poet whose books I grew up reading) talking to Monique (don’t know her surname), one of the nurses who looked after him during his long stay in ITU with COVID. I felt so moved, for multiple different reasons. Seeing the human connection between these two people - one appreciating how the other had cared for him during a period of time when he very nearly died, the other seeing how this person she had cared for in a helpless state for so long was now thriving. I felt moved thinking about the ethos of these organisations and institutions we have, where the lifeblood of the organisation is the people’s passion for solidarity and care for other human beings. I felt wistful thinking of the work that I used to, but no longer, do, working directly with patients and being part of a team pulling together to care for people. I felt moved hearing about the nurses’ experience of the pandemic - working under such difficult circumstances.
I watched another video of Michael Rosen interviewing another of the nurses who looked after him, and that nurse talked about how he had had a day where two patients of his had died. How, normally, the next steps would involve supporting and being with the family, but during the height of COVID this step was missing. The family weren’t allowed to come in. How difficult it was to feel detached, separate, neglectful, alone in that way.
I walked along the south bank of the Thames recently with a friend who had been working in St Thomas’s Hospital during some of the COVID lockdowns. As we walked past the COVID memorial wall, she recalled how painful it had been to come outside on a break only to see (likely illegal) mixing going on in the outdoor spaces of the Houses of Parliament, on the opposite bank of the river. This being only months after the very same hospital had saved Boris Johnson’s life. The anger that brought up for me was palpable - the sense that compassionate folk are taken for granted, taken advantage of. That even in a global emergency, where the necessity and value of the health service is - you would think - impossible not to see, a sense of shared responsibility and respect, consideration, awareness of the impact for different people, appeared to be lacking. And I’m saying that to express a feeling, rather than to specifically accuse.
Watching this video connected me to things that are deeply important to me - human connection, compassion, and presence. And this gave me a feeling of space from whatever rage I had previously felt. In moments of perspective and calm, I see these let downs, betrayals, failings of government as another part of the human condition. How we behave in misguided ways. How our organisations and institutions become dysfunctional. How we get hijacked by fear-driven parts of ourselves and act in ways that are illogical and harmful.
Moral Injury
It occurs to me that I’ve described two examples of moral injury here - and I want to highlight it because this is something that comes up a lot when I run training around burnout. Moral injury refers to the emotional pain or stress that you feel when you experience something that is out of alignment with your moral values, but feel unable to rectify it. For example -
Letting People Down
The first example of moral injury was the nurse not being able to support the families whose relatives had just died. This was out of alignment with his personal and professional values around caring for people suffering a bereavement, but there was no viable alternative due to the COVID restrictions and other pressures. This is an example of moral injury where you feel that you are doing something to someone else, or letting someone else down, in a way that feels ethically wrong to you.
Being Let Down
The second example is that of knowing that politicians in power were breaking COVID regulations - and so by deduction, appeared not to be taking the concerns of the pandemic seriously - in spite of the risk this posed to others by promoting spread of COVID, and in spite of the phenomenal number of people dying and getting critically ill, and in spite of the extremely pressurised conditions that the health service was working under (this sentence was long, but let’s call it a ‘rant sentence’). This is an example of moral injury where the person making this observation is on the receiving end of the injurious act (government breaking rules and making bad decisions).
Connection As Healing
What occurred to me, as I realised this, was that if these experiences represent moral injury, then watching this video - this beautiful conversation between Michael Rosen and Monique who cared for him, felt to me like some kind of moral healing. Witnessing or experiencing that connection - that reminder of these sparks of who we are as living beings - individually and in connection with each other - felt like such an inspiration, and a balm to the painful emotions related to remembering the realities of the pandemic. Seeing Michael Rosen well up in realising how compassionately he had been cared for, and seeing the nurses talk about the big and small, inventive and adaptive ways in which they cared, felt like such a powerful reminder of the power that we have, as individuals - and even moreso, when we work together with shared values and goals.
Avoiding Burnout - Connecting, Processing, Purpose.
I did feel wistful, thinking about working with patients and working within a clinical team, and even wondered if I would enjoy doing that kind of work now (I might!). But I also felt even more motivated, hearing the nurses talk about working under such difficult conditions, to keep doing the work that I do now, creating spaces for people to process and understand the impact of doing such work, so that they can stay well and thrive, continuing to make amazing connections and change the world. It’s so important to be connected to a sense of purpose, and sometimes we can lose that when things start to feel overwhelming or hopeless. This example of a beautiful human connection reminded me that even impacting one person’s life is incredibly meaningful.
A few more recent pics…
Haircut! ^
^ Spooky being a luxuriation icon, as ever.
Unexpectedly even more moody London sunset (blurry bus snap) ^
Ways to work with me…
See below a new FREE 1:1 offer for those curious about coaching - please do share.
If your organisation might value training around preventing burnout, reach out to me via email - miriamfinecoaching@gmail.com.
Check out my link in bio page for my latest offerings (expect some workshops and webinars on the horizon…watch this space!)
**FREE Confidence & Clarity Session**
As of September 2024, I am now offering a FREE Confidence & Clarity session to anyone who would like to experience the impact coaching can have. Please do share this with anyone you think would appreciate it, and book yourself in if you’re feeling curious.
Particularly if you are feeling:
Overwhelmed.
Demoralised, dejected, frustrated - feeling let down by the system, disconnected from what used to light you up, and unable to do a great job because resources are so stretched and the environment is dysfunctional or toxic.
Losing touch with your sense of identity and what matters in life - feeling stuck in survival mode and not always recognising yourself.
And would like to feel:
Energised, enthusiastic and connected with that part of you that sees opportunity, joy and excitement ahead of you.
Relief from the turmoil of uncertainty, gaining clarity and trust in your own decision-making.
Good about yourself - liberated from imposter syndrome, swapping self-doubt for self-belief, and knowing that you’re not alone.
So that you can:
Stride forwards with the projects that really light you up - sharing your talents with confidence, and feeling seen, heard and appreciated.
Feel like yourself again - the person you are when you’re most in your element.
Steer well clear of burnout.
Flourish, fully present, into the relationships, projects and adventures that are going to bring you deep and lasting fulfilment.
If this is ringing true for you, grab a FREE Confidence & Clarity session here.
Thanks so much for this Miriam.. for caring for the carers. I often thought my job as a midwife was to care for the mother and attend to her needs, so she may feel confident and able (with support) to care for her baby. I think the same is true about NHS staff. If we are ‘cared’ for then we feel empowered to care for our patients… it’s a win/win.
Unfortunately the model appears to be the opposite… burnout and replace…which comes at a huge emotional and financial cost to the individuals and the system. Thanks for your work in tackling this ongoing issue.
As an NHS clinician straddling the journey of non clinical work in the NHS this article provides valuable insights and strategies that can enhance our understanding of patient care, improve teamwork, and optimize resource management within the NHS(but also other environments) ultimately leading to better health outcomes for not only patients, colleagues and professionals. Thanks! Also love the beautiful images!!